Are you single? Maybe you are fresh out of a relationship or you have been solo for a while? You are not alone. Because Valentine's is fast approaching, I understand how almost impossible it can be to ignore the love pangs and avoid revisiting memories, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that even if we are not entirely single on purpose, we are happy with where we are. So, I will not attempt to over-sell any tips or ideas on being single and happy on Valentine's Day, but I will ask you to realize that each one of us is complete in ourselves, and the absence of something or someone is never an excuse for not living our lives to the fullest.
Which brings us to the question: what is Valentine's Day without bae? Nothing, right? Well, wrong! Here are some things you may do or not do if you are spending Valentine's alone:
- Don't try to make an impression. Be the impression:
It is possible that you might want to put up a front for your friends or for the gram, or whatever, but don't! Don't try to look happy, be happy. Take yourself out, buy yourself gifts but don't break the bank so that people think your imaginary bae has an expensive taste. Do you for you. Acknowledge your relationship status but don't let it define your quality of life. You are not your relationship status.
- Take a minute to remember yourself:
It is very easy to lose ourselves in between relationships. We forget a lot of the things we used to do or enjoy in the process of accommodating the newness that is the item of our relationships but we deserve better. Now that you are single, you have ample time to revisit yourself and re-acquaint yourself with everything that you are. Take a minute to be with yourself and remember yourself in all the places that you were lost before. Acknowledge your kind and brutal flaws. Celebrate your strengths. Know and love yourself the way that you want to be known and loved. Indulge in the things that bring you genuine happiness. Remember, if you are not happy alone; you will hardly be happy in a relationship.
- Be around your kind:
This goes without saying; stay away from helpless vibes. Don't snoop into peoples photos and profiles to see what boo or bae got them, don't! It is one thing to command a mind shift, and another thing to find an enabling environment to reinforce the shift. Hang around single people like you. You can join a dating site, or go out with your single girlfriends and/or boyfriends and trade stories of how much fun you can possibly have as a single person. You'll be amazed at the things you will find out.
- Be kind to your pocket:
Ladies, yes, it is okay to treat yourself; but don't break the bank! After Valentine blues, guess what? Life goes on! You don't want to spend the rest of the month a lonely penniless lady. You don't!
Don't wait to live the best days of your life or live to wait for the best days of your life. Live now. Live every day. Life will happen with or without you, but while you can make an impactful difference.
Meanwhile, February 14th is just another day. After all the heart-shaped cookies, perfectly orchestrated dinner dates, timeline flooding on social media, what next? What happens the next day, and the day after? If the answer is nothing, then that's just sad. The idea of waiting for Valentine's to be reminded of the need to be generous, romantic and attentive to detail belittles love. Love that flows, flows. It shouldn't have to wait for an occasion to do so. If while single, we can challenge a shift in our perception of this day with respect to love, we are subtly preparing ourselves for a healthier relationship life ahead.
What are some of your favourite tips for enjoying Valentine's day as a single lady? Share with us!